The Art of Reinvention

I want to start with God is so merciful! This week has been trying on so many levels. My mother always said to me, "When the devil is attacking you, there is something huge on the horizon". In the midst of my heartache, confusion, pain, anger, fear this keeps me looking forward.

This morning, I had this epiphany that I don't have to be strong. The question is, why do I have this desire to pretend that everything is "fine." F.I.N.E- F'ed up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional these are the character defects that I have been living in. These traits are not of God. This is not who he created to me to be. I digress, as I was getting myself together, I decided to put on praise and worship, I know that my soul is disturbed. As I was in the shower, I begged for God to get me through the day. My emotions dropped me to my knees and had me yelling out to God. Picture it, I am in the shower, curled in the fetal position, crying out to God. I can't deny it, I am hurting and I want this to go away.

God is so merciful! As I am laying in the hot shower, I feel a sense of calm pour into my soul and I began to move forward again. At that moment, I realized that this is more than an "ex" issue. This is a spiritual issue. My spirituality is way out of whack. I have kept my eyes, my heart on the approval of man that I began to lose my way again with God. 

Remember this Eugene- Jeremiah 29: 11- 13 "For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you a future of hope. Then you will call on Me and go and pray to ME, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for ME with all your heart." 

Continue to be bold, walk in love, believe with all your heart that God will see you through this.